Dumb Thanksgiving ideas

The upcoming holidays always bring an avalanche of mail from well-meaning and sometimes pushy p.r. people.

Take the email I got from Edelman that lists some "easy entertaining" suggestions. Perhaps I'm just cranky because I still have jet lag, but these ideas - and yes, they're real - just seem really stupid to me. Here are the suggestions:

- Cut clean up time by covering counters with plastic wrap. After you're done preparing the meal, just peel it up and throw it away!
(Uhhhhh, are you kidding me? Can you imagine some green-thinking guest or relative walking into your kitchen and seeing plastic wrap all over the kitchen counters? People already argue enough during the holidays, why invite trouble?)

- Invite a friend you've been meaning to catch up with to help with the party prep. (In other words, "Listen my friend, I don't really have time for you during the year, but when I'm throwing a party, I'm too cheap to hire a caterer and you are always my favorite source of free, slave labor. So here is 50 pounds of shrimp to peel. I'm going upstairs to take a shower. Happy holidays!")

- Tired of slaving over the stove for hours? Switch your Thanksgiving gathering this year by serving mini hors d'oeuvres such as turkey kebabs and pecan pie tartlets.
(Bah, ha, ha, ha. This is my favorite, most ridiculous suggestion. It's like saying, "Listen here, Aunt Helen and Uncle George. I'm tired of you freeloaders and your big, honking appetites. And your "jokes" about my sausage apple stuffing stopped being funny five years ago. So the laugh is on you this year. Drumsticks, strumsticks. Chow on these turkey kebabs and like it. Better still, go somewhere else for dinner. )