Top Chef recap

Typical Top Chef. One week you're up (Stephanie) and the next week your down (Stephanie).

Or vice-versa (Mark.)

Not a bad episode at all, though was a little surprised that the guest judge still has not been a Chicago chef. (Next week, though, yippee, Windy City celebrity chef Rick Bayless lends his palate.)

But this week's guest judge, molecular gastronomy king Wylie Dufresne of New York's WD-50 is certainly no slacker.

Quickfire Challenge called for the 15 remaining chefs to shop a farmers' market and then use only five ingredients in a dish. (Salt, pepper, sugar and oil didn't count as one of the five.) Must have been filmed in July/August - lots of tomatoes and peaches on those market tables.

Richard's braised chicken with eucalyptus - sounds kind of bathroom freshner-esque to me - smacked of trying waaaaaay too hard.

Mark's turnip/peaches combo was the winner. So was his facial hair. "Nice sideburns," said Dufresne, who also sports a mean pair of lamb chops. Dudes with 'burns stick together.

Crazy eyes Andrew didn't mince words when told he used too many ingredients in his dish. "Poop," said the gifted speaker.

Spike also reached for a potty reference this episode. "Nikki's mushrooms look like turds. And who wants to put a turd in their mouth?" (Spike must be a cat owner. Dogs owners know better than to say that.)

And even Gail - Elegant Gail! - took a turn in the toilet. "That (mushroom) looked like something a bear would produce, not eat." Oh, Gail. What would your Food & Wine magazine editors say?

Elimination Round: Chefs break into teams - named for animals - and cook appetizers for a party at the Lincoln Park Zoo based on the diets of lions, vultures, penguins, gorillas and bears. (Who knew lions ate BEETS and vultures chowed rabbits and lambs? Hey kids, watch Top Chef! It's almost as good as the Discovery Channel.)

Nikki's turds, er, mushrooms - overcooked mushrooms, blueberries and pecorino cheese - weren't to anyone's liking. Gee, wonder why? Soggy crab salad (Stephanie) and cold, precooked blinis with undercooked rutabaga (Valerie) also got forks down.

But it was Valerie's bleechy blinis that turned off most tastebuds. And in Top Chef world that means your 86-ed.

Best lines this episode:

"I'm molesting the produce section." - Spike.
"The olive pancake tasted a little like dirt." - Random zoo party guest.
"We'd like to see the vultures and the penguins." - Padma.
"The rutabaga was immediately, like, ewwww, that's really bad." - Tom.
"A fundamental error...not tasting your food." - Wylie.