"Top Chef" recap

"We're in serious need of wow," said Queer Eye Ted after a parade of bland re-worked comfort food crossed the judge's table on last night's episode of "Top Chef."

Yep, that kind of summed up this episode. No one is really standing out for me so far this season.
- Let's start with guest judge Alfred Portale. The King of Tall Food is short. Who knew? I like Portale's Gotham Bar & Grill in New York. Last time I was there, we sat at the bar next to some woman who is a regular on "Law & Order."

- Portale has a Philly connection. He used to be the consulting chef at the Striped Bass.

- But isn't it kind of cheesy that guest judges give their cookbooks out as prizes? Please. Check those egos at the door.

- Loved the look on Hung's face when Portale criticized his too-big crouton. (Get your mind out of the gutter. It's not a euphemism, he really was talking about a crouton!)

- I hate tuna noodle casserole and C.J.'s "big green blob version" hasn't changed my mind. Wonder why he didn't use seared tuna instead of that overcooked or canned version?

- Howie is the comeback kid. His version of "pork chops and applesauce" - OK, everyone channel Peter Brady - looked really good.

- Brian gets immunity and then serves lobster, a dish high in cholesterol. This after the challenge was about cutting out cholesterol. His response: "A little cholesterol" is OK. Isn't that like telling someone with a peanut allergy that a dab of peanut butter won't kill you? Just saying.

- Glad Micah was 86-ed, especially after the xenophobic remark about "Americans like their ketchup." Oh yeah, and we're all hamburgers eaters who eat apple pie every day too.

- Why didn't the producers show Portale saying "yuck" after eating Micah's meatloaf? Now, that's must see TV.

- Kudos to Dale for making instant mashers taste good. Now, if he just wore long pants and did something with his hair....

- Underdone lentils don't add texture, Lia, they just taste like underdone lentils.